"About what I expected from a 2-star motel. Definitely not a family vacation environment, but if you’ve ever had military experience, you’ve probably survived worse.
To be fair, the staff was super polite and accommodating.
Now for the room itself:
The pillows looked like they lost a fight with a grease trap, the sheets had stains that probably qualified for historical preservation, and the A/C unit had more buildup inside it than the Titanic wreck site. The shower looked like a deleted scene from a low-budget horror movie, complete with matching floor tiles for the full haunted-house aesthetic.
The fridge clicked all night, every night, like it was trying to beatbox but never fully committed to the rhythm. The bed sounded one rusty spring away from folding me into permanent chiropractic alignment.
Every evening featured a complimentary live performance from the “Breezeway DJ,” who thoughtfully parked outside with speakers loud enough for both party people and everyone desperately trying not to party. Also, while my room apparently missed out on the marijuana-scented air freshener package, the neighboring rooms clearly did not.
The local stray cats acted as unpaid security guards for my truck. Every stare-down felt like a negotiation: “Drop food now and nobody gets scratched.”
Overall, this cozy, bow-wrapped garbage disposal is highly recommended if you’re overdue for a tetanus shot and need motivation to finally schedule that appointment!"
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